Dragon Age and Sexual Double-Standards: And Open Letter to BioWare

Even if you haven’t yet played BioWare’s epic new RPG Dragon Age: Origins, the principle of social osmosis means you’re probably still familiar with one of the game’s features: homosexual intercourse. Throughout the game, you’re given the option to romance your various party members even to the point of building a sexual relationship. And yes, certain characters will swing both ways.

This makes Dragon Age a commendable rarity: A game that caters to many sexual predilections, be a player straight, gay, or bi. Many, except for one glaring omission:

GILF lovers.

There’s a character named Wynn, see. And she’s not a romance option in the game. Why? As near as I can tell, the only reason is because she’s old. I mean, like, grey-haired, wrinkly-faced, probably-does-pilates-but-is-deluding-herself-into-thinking-it’s-reversing-the-cruel-flow-of-time old.

But you know what, BioWare? Some people find that hot. I’m not saying I do. Let’s be clear about that. I do not find GILFs hot. In fact, I don’t even recognize them. There are no Gs I would like to F, let’s put it that way, so I wouldn’t know a good G to F when I see one.

But reader, I am a man of the people. And though I do not agree with shtooping any woman over the age of, oh, let’s be charitable and say 40, I will still fight to the death for someone else’s disturbing right to shtoop them. And by them, I mean ancient-ass grannies. Who am I to forbid anyone of gross, wrinkly, Old Spice-scented love?

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(Full article originally posted on Bitmob — although unfortunately the images no longer show up)

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